These past few months have been a major stretch of faith for Nathan and I. After her last surgery, Dr. Buck-miller's office called and told us that they are referring us to a neurosurgeon, because Molly's hemangioma seems to be particularly symptomatic despite the aggressive treatment plan. "Why a neurosurgeon?" you may be asking yourself-- well to look at the lesions in her brain of course! "What lesions?!" you may be asking yourself-- the ones they found when she was 3 weeks old and failed to mention to us...
I guess you can imagine the terror that hits your heart when you hear that your child has something wrong with her brain. Thankfully, it was fleeting terror. We quickly started reminding us about all the truths that define Molly's life: God has already healed her; He has begun a good work in her and will bring it to completion; He has a plan for her life, to prosper her and not to harm her; He works all things to the good of those who love him... I could go on and on.
The neurosurgeon wants a new MRI, because a 3 weeks old brain is nothing like an 8 month old brain. They are going to do the MRI at the same time as her next surgery to limit the number of times she goes under anesthesia. So since August we've just been waiting and praying and praying and waiting for this upcoming surgery .
We really believe that her MRI is going to be clean with no lesions, which is how we have been praying. When her surgery got bumped, we prayed that God would give us the right surgery/MRI time. And yet when I got the call that it wasn't going to be until December 16, I immediately began to worry! We won't be able to see the neurosurgeon until December 20th now, so if he wants to do surgery, it will more than likely be a January surgery instead of a December one-- which is a HUGE difference for us financially. Nathan quickly reminded me that we prayed for the right time, and we have to believe that December 16 is the right time. And if we believe that Molly is healed, then why are we worrying about surgery?! So we have another month to work on the praying and waiting :)
Why is it so hard to rest in God? I so want to get on the phone and strive and strain to get a different MRI date, and I may very well be able to, but I know that's not really what I'm supposed to be doing right now.
