Thanksgiving

Leaving our ultrasound appointment, I felt at peace.  The next week at our high risk appointment I realized what a struggle resting in the knowledge that God was in control  would be.  I guess I'll politely decline to name this doctor's name.  Let's suffice it to say he was horrible and has no business talking to pregnant women who have something wrong with their unborn children-- unfortunately that is his entire business.  Anyone will tell you that a pregnant woman researching potential complications on the internet is a bad idea.  Everything  I read on the internet was more comforting than this doctor.  In fact, if I hadn't read anything before walking into his office I probably would have fallen to pieces after talking with him.  He basically spent several minutes telling us that our baby had a 1 in 300 chance of not even surviving gestation, but if it did there were about 6 other horrendously awful things that were most likely to happen.  He then spent a while discussing the importance of getting an amnio despite the fact that there are no in-utero treatments for any of the complications he discussed with us.  He also did not discuss any of the risks of an amnio.  When I expressed my desire to take a wait and see approach he immediately sent me off for extra blood tests as though I had made some risky choice.  In short, he is a fear-mongering, insurance money grabbing doctor.  I was in tears after this doctor's appointment-- not tears of fear but anger!  He made me so mad!  Needless to say, we did not go back to this doctor.  We found another high-risk doctor who was much more rational and willing to discuss both the chances of complications and the chances of there being no complications.  As much as I loved Dr. Schneider, those monthly visits never came without those whispers and lies that the devil so often likes to spew.  This is what got me through those:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

~Phil 4:6-7

I think the key to this passage is with thanksgiving.  Peace comes from a thankful heart.  It is easy to pray those quick prayers asking for help or healing, but now I notice that those prayers rarely make me feel any better.  When I pause and reflect on what God has already done, that is when the peace comes.  Suddenly whatever is driving me crazy in that moment is put into perspective.  Also the peace of God isn't something that you just get automatically- only after prayer, petition, and thanksgiving.  Interesting stuff.

After 4 high risk appointments we got the news we knew was coming:  there's nothing wrong with our baby!  He or she is perfect (with all 10 fingers and 10 toes no less)!  What we didn't realize was that we wouldn't have to go back to the high risk doctor anymore.  What an unexpected blessing!  As nice as it was to see our sweet baby's face, the visits were long and the ultrasounds were uncomfortable-  our little one is so stubborn and never cooperated.  I'm pretty sure tamale will have sensitive ears like Nathan.  Baby always hid from the ultrasounds, and it's only been these last couple of visits that they haven't had to chase the baby's heartbeat around with the doppler (presumably because the baby is out of room with nowhere to hide)! 

Here is my favorite shot from our last ultrasound:

Baby's little face smashed up against the uterus sucking on his or her fingers! I love it because you can really tell the difference a month makes.  Check out this similar shot from the month before:

The baby has no fat at all!  And looks a bit creepy and alienish :)

We can't wait for tamale to come on out so we can kiss those sweet chubby cheeks!